Women on a wedding shaming group were shocked when one of them came across a controversial rule book named ’30 Ways To Keep Your Husband’.
The rules were shared to a private Facebook group after one user spotted them on a wedding planning page, with the anonymous original author claiming the points are backed up by passages found in the Bible.
Unsurprisingly, the rules – which include sexist notes such as ‘never raise your voice for any reason to your husband’ and ‘defensive women don’t have a happy home’ have not gone down well with women in the group. The list features sexist instructions too, which claim a wife should do her ‘duties’ and not be a ‘wasteful wife’ – as her ‘husband’s sweat is too precious to be wasted’.
The 30 rules… (Picture: Private Facebook group) The first rule claims you should ‘never raise your voice for any reason to your husband’ as this is a ‘sign of disrespect’. Rule two however, states: ‘Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends.
‘It will bounce back at you. You are each other’s keeper.’ And you shouldn’t rush on your makeup – because your husband will always be surrounded by prettier women. How lovely. Rule 16 reads: ‘Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table.
Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.’ Other rules said women should not be ‘too demanding’ and to make sure they cook well for their husband – because ‘no man jokes with food’.
The 30 rules… (Picture: Private Facebook group) But the most shocking rule of all said that women should never deny their husband sex, and simply do as he pleases as men can’t be without sex for too long.
There is no reference to the wife’s pleasure and the rule also raises red flags around consent.
‘Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex,’ it reads. ‘You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to men. ‘If you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty.
No man can withstand sex starvation for too long (even the anointed ones).’ Women on the wedding shaming group were shocked. One person said: ‘We really need to write something like this for men so they’re less disappointing. Okay thanks.’
I know I’m perfect I’m going on Take Me Out to challenge the stereotypes about South Asian women The love of my life got married and it gave me the closure I needed Another said: ‘Wow, look, another man giving advice that no one asked for.’ ‘How ridiculous! I’ve been happily married almost 15 years, I don’t follow any of these and we met in church,’ someone else said. ‘Someone really stupid wrote these and people are even stupider for following them.’ And to be honest, we agree.
The ‘ridiculous’ list from the rule book
1. Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. It’s a sign of disrespect.
2. Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other’s keeper.
3. Never use attitudes and moods to communicate with your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don’t have a happy home.
4. Never compare your husband to other men, you’ve no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his ego, his love for you will diminish.
5. Never ill treat your husband’s friends because you don’t like them, the person who’s supposed to get rid of them is your husband.
6. Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.
7. Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
8. Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty-handed. Rather encourage him.
9. Never be a wasteful wife. Your husband’s sweat is too previous to be wasted.
10. Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to men. If you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long (even the anointed ones).
11. Never compare your husband to your one-time sex mate in bedroom, or an ex-lover. Your home may never recover from it if you do.
12. Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.
13. Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise women don’t do that.
14. Don’t forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out. 15. Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16. Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.
17. Your parents of family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don’t waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must leave if you want to cleave.
18. Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19. Don’t forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bedrock of every happy home.
20. If your idea is better than his, never compare yourself to him. It’s always teamwork.
21. Don’t be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a nagging wife
22. A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn’t even know that her body needs a bath.
23. Does your husband like a kind of cooked food? Try change your cooking. No man jokes with food.
24. Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.
25. Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty.
26. Don’t associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.
27. Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.
28. Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.
29. You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason.
30. A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family.